Yes, I know its a hopeless case if you have to post Part 2 of your when-I'm-not-blogging post. Part one was when I had hoped I'll redeem myself. Part two is when I just want to post some shit and get done with it.
On the bright side though, I just realized I don't give up easily! Yayyyy to that. I mean, I had pretty strong reasons to give up on this blog altogether - my last post was more than a month ago, and that too (let's face it) was a sloppy attempt at regular blogging by posting a random draft from my phone. L.A.M.E. But at least I tried to give a fuck about it, no? And you know what a pro I am at ignoring your 'Waiting For Your Next Post! *smiling face*' to 'No Post For Soooo Long????? *over dose of question marks to haunt me*" to 'Get Your Ass Here!' and finally 'Buy Viagra on Discount' comments on previous posts - they don't faze me one bit. Plus I had other things like zero traffic and negative motivation to deal with.
So many reasons, I could have given up entirely on the whole blogging thing, right? But No Sireeee! I'm right back, in the spirit of writing (almost) - telling you about what I might be upto when I'm not around PLUS (here's the bonus, my lovelies!) an entire new section on Reasons I'm An Irregular Blogger. Pretty damn cool, right? RIGHT? So stop wasting my time and read the precise, crisp and (most likely) totally unedited-before-publishing bullet points.
When I'm Not Around, completely ignoring this blog, I might be:
- Looking down at my phone. Seriously. Since 2009
- Tweeting inane stuff that no one really cares about
- Tweeting about wonderful ideas on blogging. Just last week I came up with 'I should write about not writing' idea for a blog post and tweeted it instantly. Got me several replies and a few RTs even. Yeah, that was that.
- Living happily ever after!
- Writing my book. Oh hahahahahahaha. No.
- Writing my book that no publisher is buying. Yet. Just YET!
- Attending conference calls from clients and agencies for several hours - hence ending up in a mental black hole for the rest of the day. It happens more than you can imagine.
- Getting back in shape - a new me. Thinner. Taller even? JUST SHUT UP AND GO WITH IT.
- Attending anger management classes. What? You don't know me personally.
- Forwarding chain mails to 25 people, in fear of what might happen if I don't. Scary thought.
- Telling people 'I told you so'. Seriously, people never listen.
- Googling things like 'Clever ideas for a blog post' or 'What should I have for lunch' or 'Why my existence matters' You know, the regular queries of a regular person.
- Doing nothing. Seriously. If you were nothing, I'd probably be doing you right now.
- Not being drunk enough to be blogging. Good reason, right?
A few of those points are completely made up, a couple are my fantasy. Rest are true and it proves just how bitchy life can be. So no blames on me for not blogging enough. *wipes a stray tear* And with that, I rest my case your honor.
Image courtsey: bluntcard
Reasons I'm An Irregular Blogger:
- I'm uninspired.
- I'm not bothered.
- I've transformed into a productive genius (who is about to tick 'Watch back to back seasons of Modern Family' off her To-Do list!)
- I'm on Twitter
- I'm busy living a romantic life with my man
- I'm not earning anything through the blog
- I'm just a soulless idiot
ONLY one or two of the above is true in my case, don't assume anything. Now leave me alone, I've got
Twitter work to do.