I am Tagged.

I have been tagged, here. Thanks a lot Supernova, this is my first tag. (another baby step towards celebrity blogging *wink*). "First" reminds me of an array of first things that have happened to me recently, like I've started thinking about marriage *blushing*, like I've moved to Green Day from Pink Floyd, like I've been working real hard and late (till 8:30pm usually) and loving it, like I'll be giving the reference check for Supernova for the first time, and I am thinking of buying a new cell phone for myself. Focus. Tag. Okay.

My first tag, wow! *dreamy smile*. Lets owner it.

But hang on, do I really have something to share?

Something = 7 points about us.

Us = Me, Myself and I.

Hmmph. I wonder if I really have something to write that won’t seem stupid, weird, shallow, depressing, conceited …and a lot more similar things. Oh hell…. I’ll try my best. Okaaayy..*takes a deep breath* *gulps the remaining chocolate* shoot!

1. I am becoming dumb day by day. This guy will testify. I completely fail to get jokes, stare blankly on one liners and understand them only after full 2.7 minutes, have stopped checking my horoscope every morning in Delhi Times, Am becoming increasing clueless about what to talk to people – from friends to strangers and I am becoming more and more incoherent day by day. I can’t seem to help it anyway; I’m getting worse. The only thing good is the realization that I at least had scope.
2. I have this habit of singing continuously, all the time. No, not loudly, but in my mind. And I sing loudly!! Again, in my mind. * Right now I’m singing Mika –Grace Kelly loudly* This is a major distraction for me because the song doesn’t let me concentrate on work. When I’m in meetings, client briefs, Presentations or brain storming discussions on advertising, my singing goes on unperturbed. Aaarrgh! But again, the better-judgment-part of me is a slave to my screaming and unreasonable side. So cant help.*could be brown,I could be blue,I could be violet sky,I could be hurtful,I could be purple,I could be anything you like...*
3. I am usually indecisive but whenever I do take a decision, it is a verrrrrry quick one – and needless to say – the wrong one. Hehehe..But I can take care of myself so its okayish.
4. One thing that’s not so visible about my persona (hehehhe) is that I never chicken out from things, I’m a fighter and believe me, Robert Frost wrote those amazing line for me: “I was always a fighter, so one fight more, the best and the last…”
5. I am a shopping freak. I shop like crazy and shopping is my cure for loneliness, my escape from feeling useless and my guard against hurts. Woooaa! That was a senti line. Will think and decide whether to keep it or delete it before I publish it. :P
6. I generally speak a lot. In fact, most of the times I am performing, on an imaginary stage, and all the others are my audiences. That makes me a clumsy listener. But I’m improving. Also, and I'm breaking the rule of writing just 7 points -hell, isn't 7 too small a number when you have to speak about yourself? And it's called Monologue - Only I make the rules here - so I can do it - okay so I am also romantically challenged. I have maintained this state of mine for almost throughout my life, if you don't count a few times. It is strange to me how a coochie-coo couple talk about lowwwe...I mean for how long can you do that? A relationship needs something more than romance to make it doable after the lovey-dovey feeling has died. And I find it odd to talk on phones at wee hours in the night...and so many things. I like crowds. I like parties with lots of people-old and new. I like to communicate. And I'm an angel. See my Halo.
7. I am a careless person of the highest degree. I lose things, forget about things a lot. I call it an Aquarian trait of having a “selective memory” but Mom is never amused. She gets crazy when I keep stuff safe somewhere and then forget about the place. hehehe. I am damn cute! (And if you don’t agree, wait till I choke you)And before I forget, let me tell you the rules (as if you don’t know…but its my 1^st tag, hello!). Rules of tagging are:

You share 8 things that your readers don’t know about you then at the end, tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going. Each blogger must post these rules first. Each blogger starts with eight, (or is it seven?) random facts/habits about themselves. At the end of the post, a blogger needs to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

I am tagging Tradaptor (If his new found freedom let him spare some time),Tat Sat (He'll do it very interestingly I'm sure), Crazy Marketer (he’ll finish the tag thingy in one ciggi, I’m sure.), Pravin (hello! I’m waiting for my chocolate) and Gaurav (gimmi some tech tricks to be intelligent, would you?). That’s 8 people. Yessssssss, it is eight. Over and out.

*smile*

How to: behave like a Celebrity Blogger

This is the first in my new "How to…" series I thought of recently. This series is intended to educate my darling readers on all the "How to.."s in the world. So here we go.

Celebrity Blogger. Ah! Now that's a touchy subject. The longing…the desire. My creativity is constantly poking me, glaring at me and is about to abandon me for failing it in reaching the "famous blogging celebrity" status. In another life time I guess. Sigh.

But what I can do in this life and help make others life a bit meaningful is share some tips, some amazing tricks to behave, read again – behave - like a celebrity blogger. Afterall, its all in the behavior, someone has said. Yessss, someone really really said that, trust me! Okay…so - Never mind if you are not getting some freaking thousand unique visitors per day, if your fail to collect some 96 comments on each oh-I-wrote-it-just-like-that regular post you of yours, if no one's blogrolling you, if 5 diggs are all you can manage by blackmailing friends and from your own fake ID's, if you haven't even thought about being invited to a radio station like Meow FM104.8 to give some gyan on blogging strategies, if you hate the "site count" widget on site, if you dread loging in to Google Analytics and if you seriously think hard and go mad before you want to write a blog post and if – I hate to say this – if if IF you are not a celebrity blogger (of course you are not, otherwise you would'nt even read my blog, you would'nt even know I exist) – let me help you my friend.

One of the peculiarities of modern life is that we shield ourselves from unpleasantness like the realization of being an unknown blogger. Amazing line that is, thank you. So my extensive research on these celebrities of Web 2.0 world, has put me in a strong position to flaunt my knowledge about their behavior and conduct, you know how effective and sense-full my researches and surveys are – I'm sure you remember the Meaow Survey. *achievement smile* So don't worry, don't try too hard at blogging, just follow the golden, ruby and expensive flashy diamond studded rules by cute me.

Rules:

1. Write anything, research for hours, brood for days on a topic, but when you write give an impression to your reader that you wrote it in the 7 minute loo break or 5 min sutta break you took from your responsibility-loaded job and/or life.

2. Now stop writing stooooopid stuff about your dog, cat, turtle, your day, your blah blah blah. Celebrities don't do that! Write about serious stuff like book reviews, view on masala movies, the spreading gayism and global warming. Actually, you can copy a few topics from your favorite blogger but you really need to be careful with this one – you should not be blamed for plagiarism. So be smart and copy the mighty. Imitation is flattery except when it is satire. And if it is satire, do it excellently. You'll cruise.

3. Show your better side to your readers and promote one lowbrow bloggers once a month. Recommend or Suggest or invent a similar word for this cause and generously appreciate this blogger and his style. End it with a sugary statement like"Read his blog. Its great" and mesmerised in your charm, your readers will obediently go click-click on the link. See, its all about ruling your simple-soul-readers. But hang on, remember to keep it short and subtle - just one paragraph. And focus on your good side rather than this bloggers skills. Now you have established yourself as a thoughtful and angel of a blogger. Your readers will love you even more.

Off the record, if any of you is ready to pay me embarrassingly good amount of money or chocolates, I can promote your blog here, regardless of what crap you write. Excuse me, this is a decent enough blog and if anyone else doesn't click on your link, I'll do it myself 23 number of times each day. See? Think about it.

4. And don't you go signing into your account 20 times per hour just to check your comment count. Its so so so low standard, I tell you! Make yourself feel at ease with all this business. Make yourself believe that all this is a fickle worldly pleasure which only lets you down. (ask me!)

5. Another important thing - Don't go answering every freaking comment that comes on your post. Fight that carnal urge to type similes and lolzz and thankyous in your own comment section. I know darlings, it is tough, but you have to be in control because the great grandfathers of blogging never NEVER neverrrr answer their comments. Yes sweets, it might sound rude and cheeky to lesser mortals like you and me, but its time we stopped being just a human and move towards being a blogger. Yes.

6. Another thing I've noticed is the presence of trolls in the comments of all these biggies. What I intelligently derive out of this is you have to have trolls and I-so-f@$king-hate-what-you-write comments in every second post. Attract trolls (I don't know how!!!), bribe your friends, write nasty things yourself using a fake name or best, go for the "anon" option. It works. And at least you'll feel good. :)

7. Once in a while, remember to talk about imaginary "Blogger Meets" and casually mention a few famous nick names from the famous blogs. For this you've got to have an eye for detail.

8. Play around with Photo Shop or some new high-definition technology and design a "Most humorous Blog by da da da" or " Blogger of the month/day/hour/whatever", get the HTML code and flaunt it on your blog.

This is it for the start. Follow it and the rest will fall into place. Have no doubts, my friends - trust me, all the writers do this to lift their persona. And there are plenty of lessons to be learned to get into the celebrity mode. Badly done efforts wont gain much credence and will go unnoticed, so let's all pledge together that come what may, we'll behave like a daddy blogger, and some day - we'll walk the red carpet.

(applause) (clappings)

Thank you!