I told you before that when life get a little boring, I celebrate days. I've mentioned one here. Today was one of those days that will go down in history of Washington and/or Kota. I was very angry today. Was angry at everything, everyone and every no-one. Was angry at things that happened, things that didn't happen, and things that might have happened but I have no idea about. Or, leave the last one, I have no idea about most of the things so its okay. Hmmph. So, I am playing be-angry-for-no-reason today. Trust me, its fun! *wink* Life is always fun with me, you know it. No? you don't? Well, you are gross then! (That's the only word I could think of, so you better be gross if you don't think so) Alright, I started my day with being angry at my dumb cell phone. It freakin' woke me up at 8:30 in the morning!! I have to be at work by 10, alright, but I am not a slow looser, hello - I can get ready in 23 min. Yesssshhh!!! :D I switched the blessed thing off. When I finally woke up, I got ready in a good mood - I sang a lot of rock numbers in the bath. I sang fabulously, all my shampoos loved it. But then I got angry on the cologne, it spilled over and now I have an empty bottle. I had enough! I decided to be angry throughout the day. It wasn't going to be tough, I thought, it can actually be fun. *cute smile* I went to work, I got late. The lift got stuck. The zip of my darling handbag came off while I was on a exercise of opening and closing it in split seconds. Damn, I really got angry!!! In the office, the scanner was acting smart. In my anger, I pulled out the cord. Many intelligent people couldn't use it till afternoon, until a dimwit figured it out. I shouted for a cup of tea and acted nasty on tasting it. I think I must have looked really angry with that expression. This made me think and rethink about various expression of anger. Yes, this sounded interesting. I went to the washroom and rehearsed about 17 different expressions of anger. Hell, Why didn't I think of acting before? Why this Advertising world? I am meant for theater!! *will give it a thought* When I emerged out of the loo with an all new angry expression, everyone around stared at me. What? I stared right back, right from the loo door, with expression no.11. Good, they deserve it. Feeling content inside, and maintaining a poised angry expression outside, I called Hutch customer care for no particular reason. C'mon, I was doing well at being angry and I had to expand my horizons! A telephonic conversation would let me experiment with anger in my voice. Yes! So I called and demanded the details of zonal roaming (whatever that is!!) on my postpaid number. The sugary voice started reciting an answer. "Why wasn't I told about it at the time I subscribed to your services? isn't this your duty to keep an innocent customer informed? It would have saved me so much money! But No, why will you inform poor customers about such thing, when all you want is uninformed fools to shell out money at your silly conditions! What is this going on? You think I am a lame woman who never gets angry? Huh?" - My voice was intimidatingly impressive, oh my! After all, I was set to give new meaning to the feeling of anger, I am the chosen one to give new heights to the darker sex of the emotion family. Hang on, what crap did I just type? lol :D But anyway, I was perfectly angry. And the phone beeped and off it went. Low battery. I hate Motorola. Where are these Hello Moto people? I want to sue them! In lunch time, as usual, I snatched someone's food and munched on the yummy parantha while being angry on the fact that I don't get up early enough to cook my food. Not that I complain, I anyway snatch food in the office. But remember the be-angry-for-no-reason agenda? Right! Lunch ended, I went to my work station and listened to "Lemon Tree" for the rest of the day. Yes, I like it and also, I was way too angry to change it. I was going through a forum of kinds on AgencyFaqs, called Talkies, where I posted a reply in the current topic- "Is Client Servicing redundant?". There was this guy, who had completely lost his mind and typed a really funny reply to some other fellow, and his reply made no sense to the topic. I felt like laughing out aloud, but I got angry. *good* I was angry now, on how dumb people are all over the place and make it difficult for us, the inte-llec-tual lot (only I m confused with the spelling, I have the quality), to have any fruitful discussions. Why isn't there any law to ignore such people? Why isn't somebody doing something about it? Or better, why isn't somebody giving me the full charge and authority to take suitable (angry) action! Expression no.11. After office, I went to the beauty parlor to get advice on growing my hair. Actually, there was a big Saint Bernard dog in front of my house, so I slipped into a house nearby, which was incidentally a parlor. The parlor was swarming with aunts. Seriously! Aunties getting various things done! I myself have never gone beyond eyebrows and wax, and I was aghast to see strange contraptions all around. All this to look good? Jeez! Do they actually care? Or does anyone, ANYONE actually cares how the other person looks? Expression no.2 and no.16 in a while. I was angry. Then, I was told to wait (Imagine! wait for a suggestion?) as there were many aunties in the row. Bloody anger!! I fled. The dog also sniffed the anger in me and moved out of my way. Hey, it works, see. :) Sitting on my bed, I felt anger raising in me because of the baby lizard that came into my room last night and who thinks its her territory. Idiot lizard, she really need to grow up! I tried to shoo her off the room to the next room, but she wont budge. I think she's the pet I deserve. Whatever. I was angry.(Don't make fun of me, because my lizzy hates you!) Right then I got a call from a collage friend who was in my side of the town. We decided to have dinner and catch up on some gossip! Yay! During the dinner, I actually forgot my agenda for the day, but when it was time for desserts, I remembered it and got angry on the chocolate dessert called "Death Trap Chocolate Obsession" because it was sinfully loaded with unadulterated chocolate. Not that I am ever worried about my weight, I am genetically slim, but as I have said numerous times, I am a determined person. Angry means angry. I came back home in an angry mood to find my roomie asleep. Hell! That means no discussions. No sharing what-bitch-the-day-was talks. No fun. aaaaarrgh!! I am really angry now. I saw in some Darling Salman Khan movie (awwww..he's so cute!*drools*) that when angry, count till five. Everytime I do that, my anger takes control of the normal part of me (which is really tiny) and I loose all control. WTF, count till 5? Who would want to do that? Why did Salman get ready to do such a lame thing? Why is Salman not marrying? Maybe he's counting till 14 million. *secret laughter* I will never count again and I am angry! Lord. (yes, the link on Salman is to his official site but the kiddish messages posted there on my name are not mine. I disown them publically. Why, I' don't even know they exist!) The day's ended angrily, it was supposed to rain in the evening but it didn't. Whatever, I enjoyed the day and the reactions normal people gave me. :D It's really fun. Let me go to sleep now, or I'll get late again. Then maybe I'll have to celebrate Be-Dumb-Day. Damn! lizzy's near my window! Expression no.5.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
I called Satan this evening. He answered the call with a lazy “….Heylow?” Lazy is Satan’s default mode. No, preferred mode. Or maybe both. Yes, both – default and preferred mode. Add popular to the list too. Anyway, he answered the call and I said “Meaow! Meaow!” And thus, the need for an enlightening survey occurred to me. Enlightening the mankind, yes, because the world really needs to know the various (read weird) reactions people have. Objective: This survey is designed to assess the patterns of the Individual Reaction System (IRS). The responses will be used to improve and guide the future use of the IRS. Responses will not be kept anonymous and will be used time and again by the authority i.e. me. Survey Method: Telephonic. (The word Telephonic reminds me of another word – Phony. Weird word. Why would someone use “phony” in their conversation? Actually, why would someone even know about what’s “phony” supposed to be? Why, why did anyone coin a word that sounded like “phony? Hmph.) Survey Question/Statement: Meaow! Meaow! Question Type: Open Ended Scale: Individuals will be judged on the following “WEIRD” scale: 1. Strongly Weird 2. Mildly Weird 3. Minutely Weird 4. Mildly Normal 5. Strongly Normal Survey Process: The chief Researcher reaches individuals through phone and instead of the normal “Hello”, says “Meaow! Meaow!” Chief Researcher: Adi Crazy (No one else could be convinced.) Date: 13 June 2007 Case 1. Crazy: Hellllo. Researcher: Meaow! Meaow! Crazy: Kya be? Researcher: Meaowww! Meaowww! Crazy: Oh, you got a cat! (Self Satisfied tone) Case 2. Lil’ Sis: Hello!!!!!! (Stylish) Researcher: Meaow! Meaow! Lil’ Sis: Wrong number! (Super Stylish Bang) Case 3. Mili: Ya!! (Smiling Voice) Researcher: Meaow! Meaow! Mili: Adi…? Ssup? Researcher: Meaow! Meaow! Mili: I’m okay. But the washing machine’s acting crazy today. And dunno what to wear for a dinner party tonight…Anyway, you tell… Researcher: Meaow! Meaowwww! Meaowwwwwwwwww!! Mili: I know. I know Delhi’s hot…Why don’t you come here for a weekend? Kota’s hot too, alright, but atleast its not humid. Crazy girl you are Adi, come here asap. Researcher: …….Meeeeeaow??? Meeeeeaow??????? Mili: Definitely sweets. I’ll keep your cake ready. (Smiling Voice) Researcher hangs up. Case 4. Satan: Heylow… (Lazy, as I mentioned) Researcher: Meaow! Meaow! Satan: Baow Waow! Wow!! :D Results: Case 1. Crazy: 1 – Strongly Weird. (He asked the cat’s name later in the conversation!!) Case 2. Lil’ Sis: 1 - Strongly Weird. (Hell! She expertly managed NOT to pay the slightest bit of attention! What a waste of efforts!) Case 3. Mili: 1 - Strongly Weird. (She actually understood the Meaow language, even when I didn’t mean it! I think she knows me too well.) Case 4. Satan: 1 - Strongly Weird. (Yet the best answer ever!!! I’m proud of you my friend. :D ) Summary: Everyone’s weird. My reaction: Ah! The world awakens to the fact that being weird is not just my forte. Relief. Your Comments: For those who could not be involved in the survey, (I’m sure many of you would give an arm to be a part), please don’t loose heart. You are invited to leave your reactions, honest ones please, along with the number on the Weird Scale you think you deserve, and next survey, whenever that’ll be, will be all yours! Enjoy… And watch your reactions!!!!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Of course that’s me!! Okay. So here we go: - Update 1. Now I am avaliable at www.monologue.in Yippie! Check it out ppl. See, I'm getting hi-tech in techni color. :P :P Update 2. I got a nasty cut from the clumsy almirah of my new Gurgaon room. Two drops of blood oozed out. I nearly fainted. My friends laughed thinking I was overreacting just to amuse them. Jeez!! And then I got a tetanus injection on my left arm. Bloody hell! Update 3. My silly get-nasty-for-no-reason mood completely took over me and put off a real cute guy. How? Okay, if you insist. Me walking clueless in a shopping complex called Super-Mart in gurgaon, as I was trying to located a recommended doctor for getting that blessed tetanus injection thingey done. A really really really cute-handsome guy came to my side (a cute-handsome mix- with really short hair and a sexy Tee-was sweating-looked like he came from the gym that’s located on the complex’s top floor) He seemed delighted to see me. Oh c’mon, trust me! But this visiting mood of mine decided to settle at that very moment and I had a nasty conversation with him. I’m sure he hates me now. What’s wrong with me? God! I’m always hysteric sometimes. Update 4. My new ring tone is making people cringe. People, across all ages, have turned hostile towards me. Whenever it rings, people move away from me and glare at me angrily. Gosh, everyone around is weird. My phone, My choice. Big deal! I just looove when it rings and Akon sings “I wanna F*#K you, F*#K you, F*#K you… you already know…” Stoooooopid people I tell ya! Update 5. I want to keep a pet. After considering dog, fish and cat – I settled on a tiny tortoise. My roomie threatens to flee if I do this, but my decision is rock solid. Me and my Tortoise, Wowie! I’ll put his pic here as soon as I get one. :) Update 6. There are riots going on in my state Rajasthan. I never understood the concept of reservation!! When will the nation awaken! There are other reasons to fight for. I think I should write a book on this. Or maybe organize and act in a road show meant to enlighten the masses. The world needs me. Yes. But let me decide on that later. I am leaving for Super-Mart now. Why, I might find that cute-handsome guy again there. I'll manage my mood swings this time for sure. Ciao! PS: I am actually a workaholic, so I dont need to write about that. And yes, the title does make sense.