Anti - Valentine's

Long time, no posts.(If you noticed) :P

I was waiting for the oh-so-beautiful-love season alias Valentine season to end.

As a single person (yes, you read it right!), let me tell you that I hate Valentine's day and all the love-dove nonsense that comes along. What irritates me more is a list of things like red hearts, pink stuffies, mushy senseless music albums, dim-lit restaurants, over crowded McDonalds, all sort of lowwwweee movie releases on the nearest Friday and flower delivery from Dad. ouch! That hurt!

sucks

It happens each year, at least since I'm aware of it. My emotional inertia seems to strengthen on this little day. Hang on, did I make you think I was always like this? nah. There were days when I believed in the Valentine spirit, the season of loooowwwe. As a school girl, I dreamt of a Valentine's day morning when I (dressed in a silk super-sexy night dress), casually opened my door and caught unaware in a shower of red rose petals. Please note that all this was supposed to be unexpected. Surprise. *Smile*.

But that was history. I don't believe in the dream any more. It never happened with me I assure you, but on second thoughts, I guess that wouldn't have made a difference. umm...except for a short termed boost for the feminine ego.

Another tricky thing to handle is a special type of people who take this as a golden opportunity to ask embarrassing questions about your plans for the evening, or worse, about a relationship status. A major turn off. I have learned to avoid this and more by now.

I am surely not a romantic-valentine's-day-package and by now I know I will never be one of the girls carrying dozen of red roses back home. I stopped buying these for myself long back. :)

Valentine's Day can wreck havoc if there's a relation on its way out. Like a magnifying glass, this red letter day makes things bad. Worse if it forces you to rethink over a relationship that you though was over.

Where people become annoyingly sentimental on this particular day, I feel stressed out-

Fact1. Valentine's Day theme is a no-no for me.

Fact2. My birthday falls on this very day, making it so stereotypically stupid.

This year I felt strangely panicky and edgy for the simple reason that I was not in Rajasthan, my home among my doting family where I seem to push off any such thoughts, but I was in Delhi where everyone and anyone other than me was dating, buying/collecting gifts, grooming for a candle light dinner or waiting for pleasant surprises. Come to think of it, I didn't even get a new dress for my damn birthday!! uff!! This reminds me of the whole range of gifts that seem to swarm the market on such seasons-of-love. What weird thoughts people are sold to! A friend of mine was anticipating a cute chweeeet gift from her guy, who has proved his thoughtfulness on and off by gifting sensible things just when she needed them in life (for instance, a portable MP3 player loaded with her favourite songs when she started to travel a longer distance daily for job AND a set of electric rollers when she decided she needs to chop off her long hair becoz of the same boring hair style). But the guy apparently couldn't think of a romantic gift and flunked this test of love, leaving my friend teary eyed ("oh! He's so cold!") with Osamu Tezuka’s eight-volume manga series about the life of Buddha, which she really wanted some time back. "But not at all as a valentine gift please!"-is her reaction. *gulp*

So now you know that Feb is not my favourite time, in spite of my birthday on 14th Feb. I tried to make my point clear here, I'm hoping the message went right. Not that I am against love. Not that I relish the single-is-the-best spirit. I am still jealous of my friends who have someone to turn to, someone to expect from and who don't have to take a stranger's advice while buying a tee shirt. But somehow I have developed an allergy for all the flaunting and as this year's love-season has ended (hopefully), I am gaining my momentum back. Everything is getting back to normal, including friends who were frantic over love recently. The year is sure to be happening, my fingers are crossed (the year is going to be good for Aquarians like me, i read it HERE). Hope all my friends had a blast on Valentine's. *giggle*

Ciao!

Adi Crazy

You Broke it...!??!

"I have given up..." He says. "Don't...It'll work out!! Trust me!!" She's a little over Optimistic. Still!? "They won't agree..."- His voice is low. "We'll make them agree to it! It's in our hands!"-She trembles. "Destiny..." "We'll fight...just have faith." She says. "I know there's NO hope" (acknowledge the bold and italics in "NO") "C'mon....there's always a hope, we just need to hang on!"She means it too. "Nothing will happen now" All of a sudden, he's a stone... Shit!- She thinks. "It has to work out! Believe in it! We'll try again, untill they agree. I'll wait for 5 years and then 12 years after that too. I'll wait. We can't just call it a day off!! It deserves another try. Please...." She is hysterical, she is in love. He says - " It's over baby." __________________ __________________ __________________ She is blank. "It's over" He says that again. BLANK. He can't say this! "Understand! I am equally hurt" BLANK. God, let this be a dream, pleaseeeeeeeee.... Boy " I guess I never deserved you. We tried our best. some things are not meant to happen. I am ashamed. I will always love you. You deserve someone better than me, someone who can reciprocate to you, what you have done for me. blah blah blah...." BLANK. This can't happen to me!! No No No. She can't believe this. He can't help her. She won't accept this. He won't help her. He is her life. She is over for him. He moves on. She is still there. Is that an end? If yes, for whom? If no, then what? Sob - sob. But this is exactly what's happening around me, I see the girls bearing the brunt each bloody time. I cant preach, so I wont. I only hope it doesn't happen to me.

Adi Crazy

HELPLESS...

What to do when someone looses all hopes?

I tried a pep up talk. Did'nt work.

Gave inspirational examples. Did'nt work either.

Showed my anger and frustation and depression. Nothing.

My energy levels dipped so low that now its me who need all this, but no one to reciprocate.

Sigh!!

Dunno why it is so funny...

Can I fight for a cause I myself have lost faith in?

How can I fight a battle when I've already lost it in mi mind?

I always believed that when you really believe in something, it happens.

I believe in miracles, I believe in angels.

I read in a best seller that when you have a dream, the whole world conspires for you to achieve it. Such beautiful thought. But how do you make a woddenhead understand all this?

Confused.

Only if it was not the matter of life and death...

Only if I was not so helpless...

Waiting for a miracle.

Adi Crazy